Faith Bible Blog

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Reflections: In Need of a Refocus

This last week, my husband and I were out in Palm Springs. His parents flew in and rented a house, and his brothers (pictured right at our wedding) came in with their families from Pittsburgh and Chicago for the week. It was a time of sweet fellowship with family members who we cherish, and we made many wonderful memories.  One of my favorite parts of being with that side of the family is the type of conversations we have. We bypass small talk quickly and delve into deeper subjects within hours of coming together.

Throughout the week, two favorite subjects of which to talk were marriage and parenting. Three of the four brothers are married and two have children. We talked about the blessings, difficulties and funny moments of both matrimony and parenthood.

On Sunday, Chris addressed both parenting and marriage, under the point “Imitate the person of God in relationships.” I felt like he had taken all of our discussions from the week and answered them with God’s Word on the subjects.

Take marriage, for example. Over the course of the week, we talked about balancing workloads, compromise, understanding one another and much more. When looked at biblically, though, God’s design for marriage boils down to what Chris labeled “oneness and roles.” If we are not pursuing oneness, we will grow further apart instead of together and closer to God. If we do not seek out God’s roles for husbands and wives, we will feel the constant friction of fighting God’s design in our marriages.

When I look at any conflict between Andy and I, the source is usually pursuing self instead of oneness or forgetting our God-ordained roles (on a side note, any women who want to learn more on submission can listen to Chris’s sermons from 1 Peter 3. They certainly helped me!). And, as Chris pointed out, having oneness without right roles or vice versa makes for pretty dysfunctional marriages as well.

My husband and I talked through the sermon on our way home, and I was convicted of how few times I brought God’s Word into our discussions on parenting and marriage with our extended family.  Sure, we talked about our relationships with God and even sin issues God was working out in us, but I failed to step up and point to the Word when discussing a problem in marriage or parenting. I am thankful for this realization, because it is here that God can mold me to be of more use in future conversations.

Many people were with extended family over the Christmas holiday. My question for you is: were your conversations with family washed in God’s Word? If so, leave encouragement in the comments section for those of us who need to step up. If not, will you join me in committing to let God’s Word become your contribution to family discussions?

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