In our bible study, we’re just beginning to work through Pleasing People: How Not to Be an Approval Junkie by Lou Priolo.  As I’ve been ruminating a bit on that topic, I happened to come across this great article on living "barrier free."  It’s definitely worth a read.  Here’s a sample…

…Today, I found myself carried away sharing with two wonderful, godly women a certain journey that God has had me on. I was honest, open and sincere, but as the topic(family size) wrapped up, one of these sweet girls confided her journey, and I immediately realized that much of what I had shared could have been discouraging or falsely condemning for her. *humility break* Obviously not my intentions at all.

In searching my heart since and crying out to the Lord for wisdom, I have realized that much of the driving force of such conversations is the search for validity. We want to be accepted. We want to know we’re in the same boat as others. We allay our fears by finding others who are "like" us in their journeys and we bond.
This is misplaced identity.

When the opposite happens; when we’re made aware of differing journeys, we feel condemned, judged, or just plain "left out". We sense a barrier go up – maybe an inability to be ourselves, truly, with that other person.
This is false condemnation.