February 1, 2012
by John Pleasnick
Posts: 303
DISCLAIMER #1
This is written for those at FBC. I write out of pastoral concern as I see and hear discussion of the upcoming ‘Real Marriage’ conferences that are happening nearby.
DISCLAIMER #2
This is long; I don’t like long. Forgive me, but it seems necessary in this case.
Why I’m Writing This
If you know me, you know that I take Php 1:15-18 seriously. I strive to rejoice whenever the gospel is preached. If I have concerns about motives or secondary messages, I can still rejoice that they preach the gospel. I want to be defined by what I’m for, rather than what I’m against. I want FBC to be known for truth and grace, rather than identified by what we oppose.
With that frame of mind, I agonized for a time regarding whether to write about ‘Real Marriage.’ In the past, I have heard Mark Driscoll be a strong advocate for the biblical gospel and not back down from core truths about Christ, the atonement and a salvation that radically transforms your life. Additionally, he is a strong complementarian – he passionately, provokingly argues for men and women to fulfill and live out their biblical roles. Even though many amazingly solid, biblical, practical, helpful marriage books have been published, Driscoll often speaks in such a way that challenges how you think about life and truth. He can make a Christian consider something ‘old’ in a completely new way. I don’t always agree with what he says, but I appreciate his passion for Christ to be manifest in men and women.
Though I’m always reading books, I rarely offer a public review of a book. I would not publicly write about Real Marriage if I were not seeing on Facebook and hearing on Sundays about people who are planning to attend the conference from which this book is based. So I am compelled to speak out of pastoral concern for those whom I love.

What I Think About the Book
The book has some real strengths. Its good on roles. Its good on friendship. Its good on abuse and the dangers of pornography. Its pretty good on conflict resolution. Mark and Grace are transparent in a helpful but not dramatic way. But, as Doug Wilson has said, the issues that bring concern are “like finding a caterpillar in your salad. The fact that the overwhelming majority of the salad is still perfectly fine does not serve to allay your concerns. You still have words with the waiter.” Continue Reading →