EVERYONE—and I mean everyone—tells you over and over about how exhausting it is adjusting to a newborn in the house. I heard this, and by the, oh, 50th time or so, I started to mentally prepare myself for getting up every few hours, extra loads of laundry, making bottle after bottle, etc. When Ben came home, I buckled down and told myself that the newborn stage is short and we can get through it.
But I can’t. Or more accurately, I don’t want to.
I realized that I don’t want to just “get through” Ben’s newborn stage. Although most books are devoted to being a godly parent are about disciplining children a little older than Ben, glorifying God in parenting starts right away, from day one. Ben may not remember these days, but I will, and I know that God has a plan for me in this time.
Ben is now a big part of my daily ministry (and the cutest ministry I have ever had!). What I had forgotten is that ALL ministry—even ministry in the home—must be done in dependence on God. I was not fulfilling my call to be a mother fully dependent on the only One who can give me strength beyond comprehension. Trying to do it all in my strength wasn’t just foolish, it was sinful. My whole day was clouded with the sin of ungodliness—not acknowledging God in every aspect of my life. Stated plainly, I cannot bring God glory in motherhood without relying fully on Him.
Isaiah 40:31 has taken on an even deeper meaning for me during this time:
“Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.”
I no longer look at the tougher parts of baby-hood as something to power through, but rather a reminder that I am a sinner with weak flesh who desperately needs a Savior in every moment of the day. Someday, I will get to explain to Ben how thankful I am that God used him in this way. This shift of perspective has allowed me to enjoy Ben even more as the blessing and joy that he is, and I praise God for that!